you may be very surprised to learn that i’m a total control freak. i love love love to be control to the point where when i’m not in control, i get super upset and anxious. i have slowly learned over the years how to let go of my death grip on control because i know logically that i can never control everything. it’s simply not possible. but there is a part of me that wants this control, to keep myself and those i love safe, and at times it’s been an uphill battle to learn to let go.

in a way, it’s no surprise that i would be drawn so much to the submissive and dominant dynamics. there is a part of me, probably the smarter part, that sees the value in complete surrender. this is the part that knows that not only is it ok to fully let go but also knows it’s in my best interest to fully let go. i’ve been exploring these dynamics through my writing over the past two years and have been delighted to discover how much i resonate with being a submissive. i hadn’t really thought of myself in this role before – prior to writing erotic romance – since i have such a need to control things. i am easily the more dominant personality in most of my relationships due to my need to control but i don’t think this has ever been in my best interest.

it has been fun to explore this complete surrender through my island series. i resonate so much with these women’s journeys and their desires to give up complete control of themselves. i know this series takes things to the extreme but sometimes things need to be taken to one extreme in order to discover a happy middle. i had been over so far to the other extreme for so long that i think it took going to the other extreme to help me snap out of it. i’m curious how many other women resonate with this.

i am still very much exploring and learning how to let go. i have a deep spiritual practice and background that has also helped to push me in this direction but i am still very much a student, still learning and growing.

i plan to write more about this topic since it’s such a big one for me. not only is it the foundation of my writing (at the moment) but i believe a major life lesson.

i’m curious to hear, if you consider yourself submissive, how you’ve learned to let go and surrender yourself. please share in the comments or feel free to email me at i’d love to hear from you.